lizgal: Thank you Kim 

  Kim: Ms.Ms Gallaspy what is the usual time frame to adopt older children from Bethany?

  lizgal: The average time to adopt an older child is actually quicker than adopting younger children because there are more older children waiting for a placement than younger children,. The time frame is alot shorter, anywhere from 3-6 months after a family has been approved and registered.  

  Gigi: Does Bethany provide traning such as IMPACK or MAPP

  lizgal: Yes. We now provide IMPACT and we have a class starting on May 5, 2005 

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  Gigi: Are your oldre children considered special needs?

  chatadmin: Liz, What are some advantages of adopting through a private agency versus through the state?

  lizgal: Special needs generally just a federal definition used to categorize children. For instance, just an age alone would equal special needs. It does not mean that there is something medically or physically wrong with the child or children.  

  Kim: Is there a fee to adopt?

  lizgal: An advantage of going through a private agency is the length of time in gettiing into a class or getting your home study completed. Private agencies tend to not have the same high case loads as county agencies, which is suppose to allow for quicker access to services 

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  Gigi: Can a family adopt through Bethany if they hav taken IMPACT through another group?

  lizgal: No there is not a fee to adopt through our program. We have a contract with the State Office of Adoptions to provide a variety of services, such as home study, preparing etc... 

  lizgal: Yes, they can, but I would want to determine why the family is not staying with their current agency 

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  Kim: Will an older child want to have contact with their birth family?

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  lizgal: Most older children do know who their family members are and in some cases would like to keep in contact with them. I think that it is important for any adoptive parent to consider the importance of this extended family and how this impacts the overall continued emotional growth of the child or children in their home. This is something that needs to be discuss. I have had positive experiences with older children who wanted to be in a permanent family, but at the same time continued to have some form of positive relationshi with the birth family 

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  andreas: What is the success rate of adoptions of older children?

  lizgal: I have had really good experiences with older children because they "want" to be in a forever family and the family members go into with realistic expecations of what is required of them to adequately parent the older children.. The disruptions that have occured that I have been a part of, the parents expectations were unrealistic and they were not ready for an older child.  

  lizgal: I have had more successfuls older children being adopted than failed adoptions. 

  andreas: How can parents prepare to parent older children?

  lizgal: Educate yourself, be realistic about the expectations. You can not parent an older child like you would younger child. There needs are different. I think it is important to talk with other parents that have had successful experiences with older children.  

  Laveda: Good evening Liz, have you or the staff you supervise found the Lending Library materials to be helpful with your preparation of families?

  Kim: Do older children recieve Adoption Assistance when adopted through Bethany?

  lizgal: I think there are times that we forget that the needs of children in foster care are no different than the needs we experience in our younger years or our adol. years. I think that it is important to remember, if you want to know how to treat a child, put yourself in the child's position, HOW would you want to be treated?? d??

  lizgal: Hi Laveda, yes I hear of families talking all the time about the Lending Lib. Also Kim, yes they do receive Adoption Assistance. Adoption Assistance is not confine to a private agency, it is state and federal dollars to provide care for the child or children 

  Laveda: What would you say private agencies do different from public agencies in preparing families to adopt older children, if you do anything differently. There is a perception that private agencies might be doing something different to prepare their families. Would you agree with that perception?

  lizgal: I think that because private agencies caseloads are a little lighter, and we are not responsible for entire counties, we have more of a luxury to provide services in a smaller milieu. I think more individual time is given that one might not get with the public agency  

  andreas: If casework is privatized, how will that affect private agency adoptions?

  lizgal: We are already part of the privatized community. Our caseloads may get higher, but this is anticipated to make sure the needs of children are not being slighted. There are many DFCS agencies that do an outstanding job to improve the quality of services to families and children.  

  Kim: Does Bethany provide the same level of care that the state does with special needs children?

  cindy: thats where resource advisiors can help families be better prepared when the children come into the home and help them continue to meet and understands the needs of the children

  lizgal: LOC is determined by the state. This varies on foster care status because there is the agency cost that is taken out of the delivery of services. In most cases, private agencies per diem may be a little higher.  

  lizgal: I agree.  

  Kim: Our time is about up does anyone have any final questions?

  Kim: I would like to thank Ms. Gallaspy for the information she shared. Thank You and Good Night

  lizgal: Thank you 

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  Laveda: Thank you Liz. Have a good evening.

  Dana: Good Night

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  cathy: great chat ! good night 

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  cindy: good night

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  ce-ce: i am a fosterparent who is about to adopt.

  ce-ce: hello, my name is ce-ce.how are you

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  Ted M: Good morning! Could you tell me if there is a limitation on the number of times a child can come into foster care???

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  Tonya: hi

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  WWWMOM: anyone here?

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  Dana: Hi, I am still here, I stepped away to take a call, sorry

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  Dana: Welcome Collins

  collins: Hi Girls

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  Dana: Welcome MHarris

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  Dana: I apologize, we are having a few tech problems on our end this evening, please be patient with us

  Dana: Hi Andrea

  andreas: hello

  Dana: I will be typing for Dr. Falomi Prescott-Adams due to tech problems and we are reasdy to begin

  Dana: I would like to welcome everyone this evening, we have some great information to share

  Dana: My first question for Dr. Prescott-Adams is Why

  Dana: should we as parents, monitor our childrens media intake?

  Dana: Response-Children should have a chance to be children, if we don't monitor their intake they will be exposed to ideas and images that they are not equiped to handle

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  Dana: Question 2-Should all forms of media be monitored?

  collins: what age do you think the child can make his or her own choice

  Dana: Response-Yes, Radio, Sporting Events, (commercials are at times inappropriate for younger children)

  Dana: When people hear monitor they sometimes confuse that with censor, they are not the same

  Dana: monitor means to be aware, censor means to restrict

  Dana: Response to Collins-I am finding by 14 it becomes difficult for us to make choices for them, but if you have realationships with your childrens friends and their parents you can do a better job of monitoring, and in those teen years you really need to be careful and monitor because of the impressionable time that they are faceing.

  Dana: Question 3-What are some methods of monitoring a childs media intake?

  collins: Do you feel we should talk with other parents when our children are at some other friends home

  Dana: First of all the amount of media is important, for example in our household we don't do TV on school nights,

  Dana: Hand pick programs, with your kids, make it a family event, it means more, tie in what they watch with what they are learning

  mharris: Hello Room

  Dana: Surprise them and know their stuff, know what is current and what they watch and listen to on the radio

  Dana: If you have younger children and teens that is your perfect excuse for even more monitoring.

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  Dana: absolutely it is a must that you communicate with each other at all times!!

  Dana: Find parents with simiolar values and get together with them

  mharris: Do you have an evaluation methodology you can recommend as we monitor programming for our children?

  Dana: In my article, I have a list of 8 questions to ensure that you are properly monitoring, for example, Who created this message and why are they sending it?

  collins: When our children are 11and 12 years old they like to watch tv shows with kissing and touching what should we say when they start to watch things such as that.

  Dana: How would you have told that story differently

  Dana: Ask yourself do you feel comfortable watching it with your child

  collins: That's a good way to put that

  Dana: I think it is important to watch things like that with them, ask was that appropriate touching, how can you tell if they are in love, and questions that pique their intrest

  Dana: Good Question

  Dana: How can an older childs media diet be effectively monitored?

  collins: Does a boy have the same ideas about sex as the girls at the age of 11and 12

  Dana: Don't buy violent video games and vulgar music or dvd's, ask that child what is that message there. Engage them in talking about the message, ask a male how does his female friends feel about certain songs

  Dana: NO girls think of falling in love and boys think of counting the notches on the tree

  collins: Thats a great way to put that

  Dana: at that age boys are so curious about the whole sex thing,

  mharris: How can we serve as better advocates for diversity in television programming?

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  Dana: at that age children want to be liked and popular, it is rarely about pleasure or the act of sex. Now because of movies, videos and models, girls want to be sexy

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  Dana: we have to guide our kids towards better role models, who don't use their bodies as a calling card

  Dana: we have to really speak up to the movers and shakers, the production companies, the networks,

  Dana: Check these networks, black family channel, noggin, wham, tvone and tvland these are great family networks

  Dana: if you feel that you are not represented you have got to contact the producers and the networks, contact them directly

  andreas: Are these all pay channels"

  Dana: No these are regular cable channels, contact your local cablecompany

  andreas: That is what I mean, Cable--not everyone has cable.

  Dana: You can learn more about my family music at my web site-www.homemadejamz.com, it is family centerd music, it has music for all ages

  Dana: If you don't have cabel try your local public access station they have great education shows for kids

  Dana: they have some noggin shows on public access channels

  cindy: you can go to the library and check out videos on cartoons, movies, history etc, and these are free,

  Dana: The beauty of successful monitoring is if you start early they will continue it themselves, if they hear something inappropriate they will say hey mom, I heard a bad word, we can't listen to that again

  Dana: Going to the library is a good idea and check out the lending library for the center as well

  cindy: have story time where everyone that can read takes turns including the parents, this went on in our home until the kids moved out. it also helps improve reading skills even if some of the children are to young to read this helps went the start to read and inproves vocabulary, most of the movies are books make it a game to read the book before it comes to tv or the movies theater

  Dana: That is a great idea, talk about the differences between the book and the movie,

  Dana: Don't forget that these days the media is television, radio, telephone, internet, print information, telecommunications (blackberry) instant messging, entering chat rooms, it is a lot to keep up with but if we want to be better parents we have to be aware, our kids need to know that we are aware

  Dana: In your opinion is the FCC doing its job in protecting our children from inappropriate material?

  Dana: No it is not their job, the FCC is controled by corporations who provide funding, it is our job as parents to monitor what our children watch, listen to and view

  Dana: Please submit your final questions we are almost out of time

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  andreas: It does work to contact networks re negative programs

  andreas: and express concerns over programming

  Dana: I have some web sites with a wealth of information to share with you: ciconline.org, lyrics.com, www.homemadejamz.com,

  cindy: but by not letting choldren have tvs, in rooms, keep the computer in a central area it does make things easier to check on them

  andreas: Thank you for the good info & guidelines

  cindy: this was a great chat thank you and have a wonderful evening

  Dana: Well we are out of time I would like to thank everyone for such a great chat, Dr Prescott-Adams last comment is that we should use media to get together with our families and watch and listen together, enjoy each other and spend quality time togethr as a faimly, Thank You and Good Night,