Search_and_Reunion:_The_Georgia_Adoption_Reunion

The opinions and statements made in this chat session belong to the individuals posting them and appear in unedited form to promote the free exchange of information. However, they may not represent the views and/or policies of the Georgia Center for Resources and Support.

rosalief: Peggy please give us a little more informaton on yourself, and the inception of the reunion registry

peggy r: The Reunion Registry was created as a result of a change in GA law in 1990. It provides access to sealed adoption records if you are an adopted person whose adoption was finalized in the state of GA. I began working in adoption in 1996. I did home studies for prosepctive adoptive parents seeking to adopt. I came onto the RR in 1998.

Shannon H: Hello Peggy. My first question is to ask the average age of those who are seeking information.

peggy r: Shannon, the average age of those searching for birth parents is late 20's. That seems to be a time when adopted persons feel ready to handle the "yes or no "response from birth parent.

peggy r: We have people of all ages wanting info from their file and there doesn't seem to be an age limit to wanting info and contact with birth family.

rosalief: What kind of information is given to the person seeking information

lisa s: Peggy, what is the "process" for those who want to obtain info.?

peggy r: Services of the RR include obtaining non-identifying info and they can register for contact, which will put them on our database registry or they can search for their birth parent or sibling

andreas: Does is benefit a birth family to register? They would like to know if the child their daughter gave up for adoption could benefit from their being registered.

peggy r: Kind of info: Health history of birth family, social histroy, physical descriptions, reason for the plan of adoption. Every file is different in that some contain alot of info and others contain very little, depending upon how much was gathered at the time of adoption

rosalief: Peggy can we go to andre's question regarding the birth family

peggy r: Registering may benfit a birth mother because if her child is 21 or older, she may be registered which would allow contact between the two through us

Shannon H: How often do you hear from those who have been adopted in other states and want information on how to access those files? Does the RR have info on how other states manages this information?

peggy r: Grandparents are not able to register under the current law. ONLY birth parents and siblings over 21

chatadmin: Can siblings register before they turn 21,or do they have to wait?

peggy r: to obtain non- id or to search you can contact us at our toll free # at 1-888-328-0055

rosalief: If you can, tell us what your role is in connecting adoptee / birth mother

peggy r: My role in connecting adoptee and birth parent changes according to the needs of both parties

Shannon H: Will grandparents be able to access this information in the future, do you think?

rosalief: If the birth mother wants to be found, how does she register if living in another state

peggy r: to answer the Q regarding other states. We do have referral #'s for adopted persons whose adoption was finalized in another state. Laws vary from state to state

peggy r: I think that it is very possible that grandparents will gain some rights. There is some legislation in the process right now that asks for changes allowing birth parents to search

rosalief: What kind of information is the adopted family entitled too, if they feel they have not received enough from agency?

Shannon H: Re the question about birth parents living in other states, are they notified in some way that their birthchild is seeking information?

lisa s: Peggy, I imagine the job of finding people can be rewarding and fustrating, very emotional.

peggy r: It does not matter where anyone LIVES. We can register anyone as long as the adoption they are linked to was finalized in GA

chatadmin: How long does it usually take to find a birth parent, or when you give up on it?

rosalief: Have you noticed a particular age of adoptee that might begin searching?

peggy r: I try my hardest to find everybody. We (Mikel-Claire) and I spend up t o 6 months sometimes more if we feel we have more to research

lisa s: Peggy, do you only search for brith parents or do you search for a child placed for adoption?

chatadmin: Do I understand that you are saying that a birth parent can not start a search, only an adult adoptee?

peggy r: WE can search for a child placed for adoption when the person searching is a sibling who is 21 or older

Shannon H: How many reunions has the RR been a part of thus far? Do they ever meet in your office or are the meetings held elsewhere more often?

peggy r: As the law stands today, a birth parent is NOT allowed to search. If birth parent has another child who is 21, that sibling may search for the child she placed for adoption, as long as that adopted child is 18 or older

Shannon H: Odd that siblings can search but not the BP's. Is that likely to change?

peggy r: We have done approximately 450 or more reunions. We sometimes meet at our office but we do not actually take part in the face to face initial meetings

lisa s: I am very confused....You mean an adopted person who is not resgistered with the RR can get a call one day and a person say...Hey I have your birth sibling and they want to met you?

rosalief: What kind of counseling or preparatory meetings will go on before this face to face meeting takes place

peggy r: I find it very frustrating for birth parents who do not have any other children and they desperately want to reunite with the one child they lost

peggy r: Yes, an adopted person may very well get a call one day from a sibling who is wanting contact

chatadmin: A call from you about a sibling, or a call from the sibling though a search someone (you?) helped with?

lisa s: Isn't that invading that adopted person's life? If they wanted contact, they would register with the RR.

Shannon H: I completely agree that they must be highly frustrated! Of course, I would also worry that the "newly 21" sibling might not have the maturity to handle it properly as would perhaps a birth parent. I am curious about the counseling too.

peggy r: we counsel triad members over the phone, send them literature, articles about search and reunion, we have a support group and we can make referrals to therapists who know about adoption issues

rosalief: Peggy if you can give us information on the adopted parents involvement and support of adoptee in the search

peggy r: We trust that if an adopted person does not want contact he or she will say "no". Of course the call can be upsetting but it opens the door to potential contact in the future if circumstances change for the adopted person who initially says no

peggy r: Adoptive parent involvement varies from no knowledge whatsoever of their child searching to full knowledge and actually being quite supportive

Shannon H: If they are not registered, though, it certainly seems invasive, considering that they may not be aware of their adoption at all.

chatadmin: Do you think adoptive parents are aware that their child might be contacted by the registry some day? We know there are some families who do not tell their child they are adopted.

peggy r: Someone asked about closure...usually reunions are a beginning for most people. Ongoing contact is usually the option adopted persons choose. Our staff has limited involvement with the reunion after several months have passed. From time to time I will hear from folks who report that there is still contact or contact has diminished to occasional

Shannon H: How are adoptive parents given this information; that their family might be called one day? I have never heard anyone I have worked with mention being told about this possibility.

lisa s: Most adopted adults I have met have mentioned that after an intital meeting or two, the desire for a realtionship dies out for both parties. Do you find this to be true?

peggy r: My opinion about NOT telling your child is as follows: I cannot understand why an adoptive parent would not want to share the truth about their child's life with them. After all, if it were not for the birth parents, the child would not be in their home.

lisa s: I agree Peggy, adopted children do need to be told about their brith family and their adoption. I am questioning the call out of the blue for something they have not given consent to or registered for.

rosalief: Peggy please restate, that the adopted will not get the call, the birth family will

peggy r: A lasting and successful reunion depends upon so many variables, but mainly whether the parties involved have much in common besides genetics.. like lifestyle, socio-economic similarities, etc. Distance can be a factor also

chatadmin: Can adoptive parents of minors search if they want updated medical information or if they want to share information about their child's health for the benefit of siblings?

peggy r: The adopted person may in fact get a call from a sibling who knows about their adopted sibling. You must be 21 to search and the adopted person must be 18 in order for us to contact them. I have had it happen that an adopted person did not know they were adopted. This is awful

chatadmin: I gather that the call would be from your office. Not that you would give out the adoptee's phone number??

Shannon H: Do you see more reunions between those adopted through a private agency or a placement through DFCS?

peggy r: You need a court order if you have a medical situation. Usually a judge will grant the opening of a record to accommodate a serious medical need.

chatadmin: Are there some web sites or search support organizations that you would recommend to someone wanting to search?

peggy r: Sorry, I meant no information can be released without written consent

Shannon H: When are families told about the registry and the possibilty of a call coming one day?

peggy r: You can contact the RR by calling 404-657-3555 or calling our 1-888-328-0055

rosalief: when asking for non-identifying information, how long should you expect to wait

peggy r: Information about our registry is available at most private agencies. Consent forms and affidavits of non-disclosures are available as well as info. about our registry.

peggy r: Non-id info. can be received as soon as two weeks, but the general length of time is 4-6 weeks

Amy: Peggy, My brother was adopted from Virginia and still resides in that state. Do you have access to # of groups who do what you do in other states?

Shannon H: Do you ever help families where adoption is not the situation, but rather children who were separated due to custody battles between parents?

peggy r: Yes, we have the contact information for most registries throughout the country. If he were to contact our registry we can refer him to the VA registry

peggy r: We only have access to files where the adoption was finalized in the state of GA, even if parental rights were terminated, if there was an adoption then we can assist the family.

chatadmin: I would like to mention that the American Adoption Congress, a group promoting "family connections in adoption" is having their national conference in Atlanta April 2-5 this year.

chatadmin: More information is available thru the calendar on our web site.

Amy: I'm sorry, Peggy, did you say whether there was a fee or is this state funded?

peggy r: We have not been asked to do an international search. Depending on whether the adoption was finalized in the state of GA and the amount of info in the file...we would be able to conduct a search.

chatadmin: Our library also has several books on search and reunion issues such as "Lost and Found" and "The Adoption Reunion Survival Guide".

Shannon H: I would imagine the cost of an international search could prove to be expensive. Thank you, Peggy.

andreas: Is there anything a birth family can do to facilitate a search by the child they gave up?

chatadmin: Holt International Children's Services, who have done thousands of adoptions, say that they are now getting many requests for search information from parents who still live overseas. The world is getting small.

peggy r: If a birth parent has a child (that they parented), this sibling to the adopted person can conduct a search

chatadmin: Should a birth mother register when she places her child, for a future search?

peggy r: Also if the birth family has established contact with another child that they placed for adoption, this sibling to the adopted person can search as well.

peggy r: A birth parent can register anytime. The child must be 21 years old before the adopted person can register.

peggy r: If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to give us a call.

Search_and_Reunion:_The_Georgia_Adoption_Reunion_Registry

Tuesday, the 18th of March 2003