The Challenges of International Adoption, Joyce King

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joycek: As an adoption specialist, I help prospective adoptive familes to enter the world of adoption and transverse the paperwork and personal challenges they face in the process

joycek: The initial meeting I meet with the prospective parents to assess their motivation to adopt. Do they have a history of infertility and/ or do they desire to adopt for humanitarian reasons. Secondlly I look at why they've chosen a particular country. I tell them about the risks inherent in adoption. If they still want to proceed we move to the second appointment.

rosalief: what are the significant differences in adopting international to adopting domestic?

joycek: Well in international adoption, one has less contact or no contact with the birth family. Their are specific challenges such as raising a child of a different race and ethnicity. The onus is on the adoptive family to be sensitive to and prepare for these challenges.

rosalief: speaking of some of the differences, race and ethenicty, the cultural differences, how do you prepare the children for our country?

rosalief: also second part to that question, tell me how do you prepare the families>

chatadmin: Joyce.. What is you view on children keeping some of thier name to stay connected with their culture?

joycek: I think it depends on the child's age. If their older, you have real language and cultural differences. ESL classes are good and having peers who are adopted. Younger children and infants don't have asmany issues

joycek: I think it's good, dependingon the name. My daughter"s Korean name was MOon, so she's glad weAmericanizfed it.

rosalief: joyce, give us a little information on time... how long would one have to wait if say adopting from Russia?

Gigi: Where would you say is the most popular place to adopt, and where is the most dificult?

Belinda: Yes, we have adopted two children. We currently are fostering a hispanic child that we hope to someday adopt.

joycek: Russia can take about 9 to 12 months or sooner, depending on the agency and area of Russia

rosalief: I want to go back to something that was stated earlier. when adopting and older child from another country. How difficult is it getting them to learn the language, and getting them enrolled into school

joycek: THe most difficult place is probably Guataemala now. ecause of some difficulties in the governments system.

Kim: Are there any special problems familys encounter aside from the obvious language barriers adopting from other countrys

joycek: The biggest problems I think are the lack of control one feels trusting other governments and people you don't know and can't see.

Kim: Are there any special problems the children have espeically the older children that families should know about

joycek: However, since I do many adoptions and they all work out, people go back two or three times.

joycek: One problem I feel is that if the child has not bonded to their caregivers in say Russia, the chances are not good of them bonding to you. It's easier to transfer attachment once it's been made. And then their's the loss issues.

rosalief: in this case with the lack of bonding.... joyce how can a family get help for children that have a problem bonding to their family?

Gigi: Speaking of bonding, do you find a high number of these children are RAD?

joycek: There are several good programs for attachment and bonding. have a list of private practice therapists. There is also a referral service at the Marcus Institute for International Adopoption at Hughes Spaulding Hospital in Atlanta.

Kim: Are the orphanages that you see in say russia as bad as we are led to believe from television .

joycek: I don't find many children I've seen adopted with RAD. Actually, maybe I'm lucky, but most of the children are in very good health, physically and emotionally.

rosalief: joyce we may have someone on board who is not clear on RAD, please if you can briefly explain?

joycek: Some are fine, other's are not the good. Korea has probably the best program because of foster care. Bulgaria and Kazakstan are also pretty good.

rosalief: has there ever been a time that you suggested a family not adopt a particular child, based on family or other reasons?

Belinda: I have a friend whom has just adopted his 5th child from Russia and he said that the biggest problem with his children has been with bonding. This last adopted child has already been diagnosed as having RAD.

joycek: Also the children from Korea are generally infants. My children were both less than five months old when I adopted them.

joycek: ONe family had a mother that wasn't going to accept their Chinese daughter. They were prepared to sever ties with her. Artcles I gave them helped to make their bonding succeed. THis woman is now an awesome grandmother.

joycek: It sounds like this familly with the child with RAD were prepared to parent a child with these challenges.

joycek: How old is the child with RAD ? Is there also latent alcohol syndrome diagnosis?

Kim: Do you help parents, with issues like rad before they adopt , and can they fully understand what the outcomes can be

rosalief: how do you prepare the families that adopt for the possiblities for RAD or other dx. Is there help out there for families that encounter these problems with their children?

joycek: I don't think we offer enough education. I tell parents that there are risks and that they need to prepare themselves by being conspicuous, well read consumers. Know the risks and prepare . There are less risks with infants and younger children. You have to explore what you can manage as a couple.

rosalief: tell us about groups, support groups that may address some of the international / domestic concerns families may have regarding their children?

Kim: Thats great, so many adoptive couples are so excited about adoption they overlook what can be life changing problems.

joycek: Let's just say there are a lot of unknowns. An adoptive parent can't g go into this process without doing their homework.

joycek: There are many listed with the GA. Center right here. Resources abound on this website. Area agencies can also help make referrals for appropriate help.

joycek: Let'look at the challenges adoptive children face in addition to what they bring genetically to their adoptive family. Other significant issues include normal developmental issues plus the adoption piece related to loss.

joycek: Then there might be being the only person of a different race and looking different.

joycek: I think a huge favor we can do for our children is to normalize adoption by making friends with other adoptive families and families of their race and culture.

rosalief: joyce, tell us a little about how you have made that happen for your children. there is a korean support group in your area. tell us about that

joycek: Making friends with other adoptive families and loving the experiences empowers us and our children.

Kim: I agree it is helpful for parents of children who are not from other countrys to be together, they dont feel so different

rosalief: joyce thank you for sharing your knowledge and experineces with us tonight. we do look forward to talking with you again soon

joycek: I recently started this support group for parents and children adopted from Korea for somewhat selfish reasons. I know other families need it, but so does mine.

The Challenges of International Adoption, Joyce King

Tuesday, the 24th of February 2004