with Cathy Burks, Resource Advisor-Region 11

Thursday, the 23rd of April 2009

dapper36: Good evening everyone and welcome to our chat. We are celebrating our 7th year anniversary of serving adoptive and foster families. We will begin shortly.

dapper36: Tonight we have one of our own with us and we will be discussing How to start a support Group with Cathy Burks.

dapper36: Cathy hello are you ready.

Cathy Burks: yes

dapper36: Cathy Burks is an adoptive mother to two sons. Her family began the adoption process in Tennessee and completed with the Lowndes County DFCS in 1996. Cathy is the founder (1997) and current President of a very active adoptive/foster parent support group in Lowndes County. Cathy also attended Leadership school provided by the North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC) in 2002 where she received training on developing and working with support groups for parents. She developed a Toolkit for organizing Support groups in 2003 that all Resource Advisors now utilize with families interested in starting their own support group.

crysti: - has joined the chat -

dapper36: This is a bio of our speaker for tonight.

Cathy Burks: Thank you for inviting me to share this valuable information on support groups and how important it is to families to have support systems in place

dapper36: Cathy could you please tell us what a support is? ?

Cindy: - has joined the chat -

Cathy Burks: Support groups offer the opportunity for people to meet and share information about their experiences with adoption. It is a place where one can speak freely about their feelings, and know that others have no doubt had the same feelings at some point in time. Support groups provide a means of relating ideas, information.

Judy: - has joined the chat -

Shannon H: How hard is it to start one up? How many people are needed?

Cathy Burks: This information is also for foster families.

Cathy Burks: It is not very hard at all and there is not set number of persons needed to get started.

dapper36: Can you tell us what is needed or what to do to get started.

Cathy Burks: When I started the one here we only had four other people to attended the first meeting.

dapper36: So we don't need a lot of people or how do we get the word out about our support group to others.

Cathy Burks: The first thing to do is to find a free location to meet.

Shannon H: What should occur at the first meeting?

Cathy Burks: No, you don't need a lot of people.

Cathy Burks: Contact your case worker to find out if there are others who want to be apart of a group and try to get their contact information

Cathy Burks: Posting flyers is also a good way to gain interest. Post them in places where foster or adoptive partents may frequent such as the health department of the DFCS office

Cathy Burks: At your first meeting, have a brain-storming session to think of possible topics or use this time to get know each other and share your story.

Cathy Burks: In Valdosta, we use a church that allows us to meet free of charge

Cathy Burks: Often times, DFCS may have conference rooms where you can also meet

Shannon H: Does a DFCS person need to be involved or can it be solely foster and adoptive families? In some cases, alot of what families might want to talk about might not be meant to be heard by "officials" at DFCS. not that they are keeping secrets, but they might just want to talk to other parents.

Cathy Burks: Begin by starting just one group and try to meet everyone's needs. A good way to do that is to have break out sessions.

Cathy Burks: A DFCS person does not have to be involved.

dapper36: What do you mean by break out sessions.

Cathy Burks: Parents ususally can talk more freely when a DFCS staff person is not involved

Cathy Burks: In our group, there is no DFCS invovlement. They do however come when we invite them

Cathy Burks: Break out sessions are when you divide the group as a whole into small groups with one person as the facilitor for each group.

Cathy Burks: They then talk about the issues relevant to their group and then get the group back together for a debriefing (so to speak)

Judy: People often get frustrated when the same 4 or 5 people are the only ones showing up. What is your suggestion when this is the case?

dapper36: So we can have like a group here discussing about RAD and the other about FAS and then come back together? ?

Cathy Burks: Ask those 4 or 5 people to invite other parents to come with them. Come up with a way to get others to visit, such as flyers advertising door prizes or even plan a small event or dinner/refreshments to motivate attendees

Shannon H: It is a good way to come up with what yearly training topics the group wants.

Cathy Burks: It's best to put no more than 2 topics on the floor to discuss to avoid time consumption

Judy: Do you suggest limiting foster/adopt groups to specific counties or making it more open to any foster/adopt families?

majesty: Do you have any suggestions for a positive turnout

Cathy Burks: If discussing RAD and FAS, those may need to be the only two topics that need to be discussed for that meeting.

Johns: - has joined the chat -

Cathy Burks: You can get the group involved by asking them what topics they would like to see covered throughout the year and start there!

Cathy Burks: Making the group open to ANY foster/adoptive families is the best way to go because it generates more participation and group memebers

Cindy: how do you go about keeping the meeting from turning into DFCS hate meetings?

Cathy Burks: For a positive turnout, getting the word out is essential. If you are providing child care or refreshments, it is important to make that known. Also notifiying individuals in advance mean that they can better plan to attend.

Cathy Burks: To keep the meeting on track you stick with the agenda. The facilitator is key in keeping everyone on task. You can allow a "sharing time" but it has to be limited and cannot turn into a DFCS hate session.

Shannon H: I think the critical piece is to have child care if at all possible. That is a big barrier to attendance.

dapper36: Should I plan everything before the support group get started myself or let others help me.? ?

crysti: How often do you recommend meeting?

Cathy Burks: The facilitator has to maintain control so that the meeting does not exceed the desired time limit.

Cathy Burks: We provide child care for our meetings where different parents volunteer every month. This has helped our attendance greatly.

Cathy Burks: Letting others help is the best way to go, if not everything will always fall on you. It is a support GROUP which means that members should have ownership into the group

crysti: How about officers, should they be elected or appointed? Should it be right away or as the group evolves?

Cathy Burks: Monthly meetings are the best because any more and people's schedules will not allow them to attend. Any less, you may miss an opportunity to meet someone's needs if you met quarterly, for example.

dapper36: Do you recommend we pay some one to watch the children from parents donating money? And is there fees involved in support group by fees I mean dues?

Cathy Burks: Officers should be elected as the the group evolves. You can even begin electing with as few as 3 people: President, Vice President, Secretary/Treasurer

majesty: Do you have to take special trainng to start a group ?

Cathy Burks: Paying someone should be the last resort. Parents are usually not willing or able to pay extra fees. You can get volunteers such as college students, BETA club high school students, sorrorities, but all the above needs to be under the supervision of at least one parent from the group.

Cathy Burks: Each member of our group donates a yearly fee to cover mail-outs, post office box, etc.

Cathy Burks: There is no special training required to start a group; however, the tool kit that is available at the GA Center would be extremely helpful to start your group. Your regional advisor also has this tool kit and can assist you further.

chatadmin: Cathy could you speak to how finances should be handled in the Support Group environment?

Cathy Burks: A trusted member of the group, or the appointed treasurer, takes on the responsibility of depositng all monies into a bank account that needs to be established for the group. It also needs to require 2 signatures on a check for disbursements.

dapper36: What is a good price to charge parents or for dues? ?

majesty: - has left the chat -

Cindy: should you give training hours to parents that attend the monthly meeting?

majesty: - has joined the chat -

majesty: - has joined the chat -

Cathy Burks: Remember that they are donations and not dues, because some members may not be able to pay if there is a certain amount required of each person. Also if you file for non-profit status for your group, you cannot require member to pay dues; only donations can be accepted.

Cathy Burks: A good amount to ask for depends on the group's needs.

Cathy Burks: Only give training hours if there is a speaker coming to the meeting to speak on a specific topic for at least an hour.

chatadmin: This is good information Cathy. Another question...Cathy, how will members know their dues are being used to promote the group? Do you recommend the group have a budget, or some way of showing that the funds are being used for the Support Group?

Cathy Burks: Regular meetings do not qualify as training.

Cathy Burks: The secretary and the treasurer present monthly reports on how the donations have been used and will be used.

Cathy Burks: This information has to be kept accurate and up to date for the group's review\.

Shannon H: Does the support group need to make DFCS aware when they incorporate a training into their session ahead of time for some sort of approval?

Cathy Burks: We have minutes that include the disbursements and any donations that the group has received. All other happenings at the meeting are also included in the minutes and are given out at the following meeting.

Cindy: how long does a support need to be established before it can request non profit status?

Cathy Burks: It would be a good idea to check and see if DFCS will accept the particular training that your group will receive.

Cathy Burks: The group has to be incorporated through the Secretary of State before you can file for non profit status. This is a legal procedure that requires an attorney.

Johns: I am having to go back and forth between the chat log and chat room to get everyones comments posted. I haven't seen any new comments since Cathy Burk's: "For a positive turnout, .....

Johns: Oops. Suddenly all the comments just apeared.

Cathy Burks: Great!

majesty: I am having the same problem, any solutions?

chatadmin: Mr. Johns sorry about your experience. We find that sometimes the software acts differently on different computers depending on your settings. I sometimes have to go to the chat log to catch up too. Hope this is not too much of an inconvenience.

Johns: My wife and I are just now finishing up reading the comments. It is our first time being in a chat room.

dapper36: Hit the reconnet button when that happens

dapper36: Cathy can you tell us what types of support groups there are? ?

dapper36: About the various types of support groups.

Johns: We have never attended a support meeting in our three years as foster parents

Cathy Burks: There are 5 types of support groups: 1. Frustration or ventilation group 2. Support group 3. Service group 4. Advocacy group 5. Political group

Cathy Burks: After the first few meetings, you will get a feel of what type of group yours will eventually evolve into, while steering away from the first type.

dapper36: Sometimes people do just want to vent so should we allow time in our meetings for that? ?

Cathy Burks: Support groups exchange information, share experiences, and encourage each other. Service groups focus on providing services and trainings, etc. Advocacy groups focus on system changes and advocating for legislative changes while political groups get involved in policy making and lobbying for changes for foster/adoptive parents, etc.

Cathy Burks: You may find that your group becomes a combination of more than one type of group, which is great!

dapper36: We are almost to the end of our chat any last questions for tonight? ?

Cathy Burks: You should allow time for sharing/venting in the meetings, with somewhat flexible time limits. Just remember to maintain control if you are the facilitator.

Cindy: Mr & Mrs. Johns, please check with your resource advisor for the nearest support to you.

Shannon H: What if DFCS really wants to be a part of it, but the group would prefer this not be the case?

Cathy Burks: Support groups are very important for foster and adoptive parents to be able to talk to other that can understand what you are going through. We are often able to give each other tips on how to parent children with behavioral issues or special needs.

dapper36: Cathy we want to thank you for your time and the information you have shared with us. You have made us ready to start that support group or at least attend one. Please check our website for support groups in your area because there might be one already in your area.

chatadmin: This chat will be archived and will be available on our website after next Wednesday.

Cathy Burks: You have to remember that the group is designed to meet the needs of the parents. DFCS should not be involved if the group does not want that.

Shannon H: Thank you for so much great information. Goodnight!

Cathy Burks: The group need not have ties to DFCS other than the training component.

jorie: thanks, Cathy! this was helpful information

dapper36: Thank everyone for joining us for our Web in Day please go to our celebration website and complete the survey.

Johns: we would prefer to be part of a group and participate in the support, rather than being the starters of the group.

dapper36: Cathy any last words.

Cathy Burks: Thank you for allowing me to share this information with you all!

Shannon H: - has left the chat -

Cindy: thank you for the information, it was helpful,

dapper36: Congratulations to the GA Center for a great Web in Day!!!!!

dapper36: Thank you all for your participation.

Johns: We have enjoyed reading whart Cathy had to share and the questions of others.

crysti: Thanks Cathy

jorie: we can access the survey from the gacrs.org website, correct?

Johns: We've been with the celebration all day! We've had a great day online! Thanks for the day's events!

dapper36: That is correct.

Cindy: your resource advisor will be able to put you in contact with a support group already established

Cathy Burks: - has left the chat -

chatadmin: You can reach our Celebration website via the link on the Events Calendar on this website on today's date. Thank you!